Women keep hearing over and over from guys in different situations that men want to date and have relationships with a classy woman. Just take a look at most of the men’s dating profiles, and you will see that practically all of them want to meet and date a woman who has “class.” Indeed, being called “classy” is an ultimate compliment to a woman. But, what does it really mean being classy?
After searching the internet for an answer to this question, I wasn’t very satisfied, because every attempt to define a “classy woman” had one fundamental flaw. A woman can have all the qualities that make her classy according to those sources and still not have much class. The formal definition of being “classy” also doesn’t add much to understanding what class means in the context of dating and attraction.
For instance, being a sharp dresser, clean, and not using profanities are certainly qualities that flatter to a woman, but… they hardly make her come across as having “class,” if she talks too much and constantly draws attention to her persona. Being professional, educated, and having a great sense of humor are very attractive qualities in a woman. However, if she has temper issues this pretty much cancels out her potential to come across as classy.
I truly believe that just like in the case of distinction between flirting and regular conversation, being classy is not in the “what” but in the “how.” It’s how you act, how you carry yourself, how you express yourself and how you live your life that determines class. A very small minority of women who don’t have a lot of class are able to develop that quality and become truly classy. Doing this requires reflecting on your own self, recognizing those qualities that you are missing and having which would make you more classy (something that few, if any women, would want to do) and working in all the necessary directions to build that attractive flair of class and sophistication.
However, if you believe that you belong to that minority of women who are open to constructive self-criticism and you are willing to take a few practical steps toward becoming more classy, here are some of the fundamental elements of a woman’s personality that makes her more “classy”.
1. Being a Classy Woman Means Having Broad Formal and “Real Life” Education, Wit, and Sense of Humor
There is no way around it – perceived class has little weight and value if the person behind it has no interesting thoughts, opinions, views or observations. Being a classy woman requires an ability to share and challenge ideas and be an engaging company. This doesn’t mean that you have to argue or try to prove that you are right all the time. You do have to be able to possess a degree of wit and enjoy playful banter, as it’s an integral part of flirting and intellectual foreplay.
2. Being A Classy Woman Means Having Real Style
A sense of fashion is an integral part of class. While having an eclectic style may be considered “cool,” if you want to come across as a classy dresser, you can hardly go wrong with a business/casual look or a simple, clean cut, fitting (but not too fitting) attire. Simple, straight colors (white, black, blue) flatter most women. Following temporary, mediocre fashion trends and fads certainly does not add to being classy. This doesn’t mean that you have to look boring or that you always have to blend in, but it does mean that you should not look like someone who is dying for attention for those who are around her at any cost. Green/orange/blue hair, tattoos and piercings all over or otherwise looking like a girl with a dragon tattoo are surely not a sign of being classy.
3. Being A Classy Woman Means Having Feminine Demeanor and Manners
A classy woman is in touch with her femininity. Her mission in life is not in challenging men and competing with men wherever possible; she enjoys pleasing men without feeling ashamed of it, and is proud to be a woman. She recognizes the differences between men and women in psychology, physiology and sexuality and accepts those differences as laws of nature. As such, she does not hate men, and is not overly skeptical or pessimistic about her ability to fall in love and enjoy great romance.
4. Being a Classy Woman Means Being Elegant
This concept, along with femininity and style is hard to define, and the formal definition of “elegance” is again of not much use. Many guys would know elegance when they see it, but this kind of statement is of little use to a woman who wants to become more elegant. Elegance is the manner in which a woman carries her self in just about every situation. Elegance is in her voice, movement and body language, manner of speech, the way she stands sits, and responds to other people around her. Some of these traits, such as voice, and a walk – are part of our nature, while other elements of elegance, such as our interpersonal skills are strongly linked to our upbringing. Other qualities are acquired through habit or from friends and not all of them can be altered. Observing women who are known to be classy (whether on television or in real life), paying attention and trying to identify the specific elements of the behavior and actions that make them stand out and come across as more classy will take any woman who is willing to become more classy a long way toward that goal. It might be something as small and seemingly insignificant as a laughter of an actress that you would notice in a woman that strikes you as so much softer, feminine and attractive than the one you overheard the other night at a bar from a woman, whose entire body was covered with tattoos and piercings. However, when it comes to elegance and class, there is no such thing as small and insignificant. After all. being classy is a sum of many, many elements of one’s personality, behavior, and actions, some of which are more obvious than others, but all of which are essential for the “total package” to be considered elegant and classy.
5. A Classy Woman Knows the Importance of Subtlety
This is one of the most important qualities and distinguishing characteristic of having class. To be classy, you must be subtle in many areas of your life. Subtlety implies a degree of moderation, lack of flamboyance, lack of impulse to attract attention, and generally not trying too hard. A subtle woman has style but she doesn’t look like a designer model. She dresses sexy but does not look trashy like a typical stripper when going out; she puts such a small amount of perfume and make-up that one can barely tell that she has any; she talks just enough but certainly not too much and tends to be on a quite side; her laughter is pleasant to hear but not too loud; she hardly ever swears; and her voice is soft and sensual. A classy woman will usually come across as “low-key” in a social situation. This is not to say that she is shy or lacking confidence. On the contrary – her confidence puts her at ease and relieves her of any desire or need to validate herself to her company.
6. A Classy Woman Knows that Success is More Attractive when Coupled with Modesty and Humbleness
A woman who has true class and strong sense of self does not need to run around and tell everyone how smart and successful she is, whether it’s in “real” life, or on Facebook, LinkedIn, OkCupid or any other internet site. This urge to validate yourself through bragging is a clear sign of insecurity and of not being classy in both men and women. A classy woman lets her actions, rather than words, prove to others who she is, and she is not in a hurry to announce to everyone around how great she is.
7. A Classy Woman Understands When Showing Pride Is Appropriate
A classy woman knows how to get angry the “right” way. She doesn’t get “ballistic,” abusive or violent with guys unless the circumstances really justify this kind of extreme response, which is very rare, as she knows that there is always a better option – to simply walk away from a bad situation.
The above seven points do not fully define what being a classy woman means, but they are surely a great start on your personal journey toward becoming a more attractive woman to those qualities guys who you are interested in meeting.
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