There are very few relationship deal breakers that resemble cheating. Unless you are happily engaged in an open relationship, chances are you live in constant fear of this ultimate betrayal. Countless studied have been conducted over the years about which sex cheats more often, why people engage in extramarital affairs and the characteristics that can help you spot one from a mile away.
If you have ever been cheated on before, you know how difficult it is to rebuild that shattered trust. If you have ever betrayed your partner, you know how difficult it is to regain respect for yourself amidst the guilt.
People will spend countless hours trying to discover if their partner is having an affair. They will read articles about other women or men who do the same thing. But while so much attention is being paid to the person who cheated, very little is focused on the partner on the receiving end.
It doesn’t matter what you do or whether or not your partner cheats on you. It all comes down to how you handle things in the relationship.
Here are five reasons why you shouldn’t worry about a cheating partner:
1. Worrying will not prevent, fix or control anything.
No matter how much snooping, stalking, interrogating, texting and monitoring you do- it will still happen. Honestly, if your partner is really that determined to cheat, they will find a way to do it no matter what you try to do to prevent it. It all comes down to control. You cannot and will never be able to control the actions of another. All that you can control is your own actions.
If you want a faithful partner, be faithful. If your trust has been broken work on building it back up. Work on your own self-esteem and know that if it happens, you have the power to walk away.
2. Knowing is not necessarily better than not knowing.
In my humble opinion, the greatest rule to live by is to not hurt other people. In order to do this, it is best not to cheat. But if by the off chance something does happen (because we are all human after all), the best thing to do would be to end the relationship without saying a damned thing.
When you find out that your partner cheated, the biggest emotion you are feeling besides betrayal is stupidity. You wonder how could I have been so blind? Knowing that someone cheated is not necessarily the better option.
Besides, 9 times out of 10 the cheating partner only tells you to relive their own guilt. It is the equivalent of them dumping their garbage on your doorstep and telling you to clean it up.
Cheaters, deal with your guilt. Cheatees, stop trying to unearth information that will only make you miserable.
3. Better if it happens sooner rather than later.
It is a harsh truth but it is better that you discover your partner has been cheating two weeks into the relationship than seven years, a marriage and two kids into the relationship. This is not much of a comfort, I agree. But if you can let go of the worry and realize that if it happens you can get out as soon as you can than you will be better off for it.
4. You do not need that in your life anyway.
No one wants to get cheated on. No one needs that stress in their life. No one deserves to be hurt. If you do end up with a cheating partner, you will feel things that are incredibly painful like betrayal, insecurity, stupidity, humiliation.
But if they cheat and you find out then you can slam that door so hard that it most certainly hits them on the way out. Then you can work towards positive life changes that will help you learn from your mistakes and pick a better partner in the future.
5. You are still good, beautiful and wonderful enough no matter flippin’ what.
The final and most important reason you shouldn’t worry about a cheating partner is because you are better than that and you always will be. You partner did not cheat because you weren’t loving enough or pretty enough. They did not do it because you called them too much or because you didn’t do enough for them.
Your partner cheated for reasons that are completely beyond your influence and control.
You are SO worth more than that and it sucks that they didn’t exercise enough self-control to respect that.
You can respect that, though. You can walk away knowing that you are an amazing, incredible and worthy person who unfortunately entered into a relationship with someone unprepared for an emotional commitment.
When all is said and done, cheating still sucks. There will still be a plethora of emotions that you will want to flush down the toilet along with the ashes of all the old photographs of your partner. But while you are in a relationship, worrying about it will only drain your energy and take away from the happiness you could be experiencing.
You can deal with it when it happens, if it happens. If not, let it go.
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