Judge Me Not: Why You Should Have The Sex First And The Dating Second

 

Let’s say you’re out with your friends one night. You end up meeting someone of the opposite sex. You two end up talking for a while. As it turns out, this person is really cool and you would like to take them out on a date. Now you’re on a date with this person, and they’re even cooler. Suddenly, you realize that you’re really into them. The two of you go on a couple of more dates; then you both finally decide it’s time to sleep together. However, the sex sucks. There’s no connection, there’s no fire, and it’s totally off from what you were hoping. And then you and this person decide to go your separate ways.

It goes to show that you can be really into someone, but if the sex is bad, you can’t date them. Sex is a big part of dating. Being on the same level as your counterpart sexually, is a big deal. So, why not just have the sex before you start going on dates?

Dating is awkward. It’s like two boxers trying to feel each other out. You have to ask the right questions, but you also have to answer questions the right way. You don’t want to tell them too much, but you don’t want to tell them too little. Are you talking too much? Are you even interested in what the other person is saying? Is there food stuck in your teeth? These are the thoughts running through your mind for the duration of the date. Meanwhile, you’re both just trying to figure out what the other person looks like naked.

via: giphy

While wondering what this person looks like naked, you’re also wondering if they’re good in bed. How many times have you been on multiple dates with someone, you really enjoyed spending time with them, and then the sex ruined everything?

When people say that sex complicates things, they’re only partially correct. Bad sex complicates things. Bad sex makes you look for reasons to end it. Good sex keeps you coming back.

Would we not be better off as a society if we had the sex first and the dating second? Do you realize how much time we would save? We wouldn’t be wasting three, four, or five dates figuring out the “right time” to have sex with someone. If the sex is awful, don’t you move on anyway? If the sex blows you out of the water, don’t you want to keep this person around? And if you’re worried about being judged, who cares? You’re an adult, start acting like it.

Finally, if you’re compatible with someone sexually; there’s a very good chance you’re compatible with them mentally. It’s not very often that you have great sex with someone you can’t hold a conversation with. And if you did have sex before dating, all your questions about what went wrong would be answered. Instead of asking yourself what happened over and over again, it would be very simple. The sex sucked, so you moved on. Why not have the sex first and the dating second? Sure, it could be a disaster. But would that be any different from your other dating mishaps? All I’m telling you is to give it a try. You might be surprised with the outcome.


 

featured image via: elephantjournal

 


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