Don’t Be That Guy: Sext With Class

 

Guys have taken their lame-ass attempts to sext girls to a whole new level. It’s embarrassing being part of this sometimes inferior sex. A text saying: “What are you wearing? ;) LOL!” makes you sound like an idiot and the ladies you’re texting think so too. Here are some points you should remember next time you’re trying to make a move via text:

If you have to say LOL, LMAO, ROFL or even the simple HAHA, don’t say it at all.

Seriously, have the balls to say what you want without the LOL shield. If you’re only hiding behind it in case she gets mad so that you can eventually follow up with “just kidding”, you wasted your time and fucked up your chances for later. Commit yourself to what you’re about to say and have some fucking follow through, bro.

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 A “Winky Face” makes everything dirty. You should probably stop using it.

It really does… Think about it. “hey ;) ” means ‘let’s fuck’, “how’s it going ;)” means ‘let’s fuck’, “I was thinking about you today ;)” means ‘lets fuck’, “what are you up to ;) ” means ‘let’s fuck’. I did say commit, but there is such a thing as over-committing. If after every somewhat dirty text you use a winky face, you’re not doing it right. Personally, I try to avoid using emoticons all together, unless in extreme circumstances such as: I’m drunk and can hardly say my name properly… that’s pretty much it. USE YOUR WORDS.

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SPELLING/GRAMMAR.

I’m not saying you need to end every text with a period, but grammar is fucking important. Grammar is the difference in helping your uncle jack off a horse, and helping your Uncle Jack off a horse. It also helps you not sound like a fucking 13 year-old when you’re trying to get in her pants.

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Don’t beat around the bush.

Get to the point. No lady wants to be confused about what you want.

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Be somewhat reserved… at least at first.

If the girl is being responsive then great, but feel it out before you start throwing out the big guns. Saying “I want to braid your hair and then cum in your belly button” (yes that’s actually been used on a friend of mine) is just fucking weird. Pump the breaks and make sure you’re both comfortable… and don’t open with a dick pic unless you’re 100% without a doubt sure that it will be well received.

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Have FUN.

Texting and sexting is easy. Technology has made it so that you can be the most socially awkward person and still say the dirtiest shit without even looking the person in the eyes. Let go and enjoy it!

 


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