There has been plenty of talk lately about chivalry being dead. The men these days are getting ragged on for how they treat women. On one hand I agree, but I can’t help but wonder- is it our fault?
There is no question that guys are not the gentlemen they used to be. I look at the way my father treated my mother and it is very rare to find such courtesy these days. I have been stuck opening my own car door with almost every date I have been on. And cannot understand why men, especially when dating, don’t put their best foot forward.
However, women are not what they used to be either. They want to be independent, and half the time, guys are probably in fear of stepping on the foot of the independent woman they are taking out. “If I open her car door, will I offend her? Am I saying you can’t do this yourself, you weakling?”
Or maybe it has more to do with class?
When chivalry was fully alive and well, ladies didn’t dress in 8-inch heels and mini skirts, barely covering their butt cheeks and 90% of their breasts falling out of their is that even a shirt?
They did not get wasted on the weekends and then pass out pretty much looking like the definition of a solid 4:30 a.m. Friday night at a bar with sticky flooring. And if they did, I doubt their boyfriends would say, “Oh darling, you look so elegant today, you delicate flower.”
We also had a different mentality when it came to taking care of our men. Nowadays, girls say things like “Oh, he can take care of things himself, he’s a grown ass man. (head swivel)” This is usually followed by the familiar I-want-you-to-be-a-gentleman: “But babe, it just hurts me when you don’t spend time with my family on your days off.”
It makes no sense.
Chivalry needs to be earned, and any woman who thinks otherwise deserves to have the door slammed in her face right after her boyfriend walks out. If you want your man to be a gentleman, you need to act like a lady. Here are a few helpful hints:
Clean The House
Thats right, you want him to be a provider, make it worth it to him. He’s not a slob. You’re a slob. I am not saying he shouldn’t clean, and you shouldn’t make money. I’m saying, he’s a guy- let him do man things, most of the time. if you are enhancing his life, he will want to provide for you.
I am unsure why a boy would ever have to do his own laundry when in a relationship. Any given woman has at least 200 times more clothes than the man she is sharing her home with. Why is it that you can’t help him with laundry? Probably for the same reason he doesn’t open your car door. Sucks to be lazy, eh?
Walk Behind Him When Approaching Doors
I know. Common logic right? Wrong! This has been bitched about time and time again. Look, Speed Racer, walk slower. You can’t honestly expect him to race ahead to grab the door before you, and if you don’t want to use your two arms to open it (I wouldn’t either) then make sure it’s clear that he is first to the door. This will eliminate the awkward stand off, “So, uh, you going to get that?”
Dress With Class
If you want to be treated and respected as the-princess-love-of-his-life, dress like it. No guy appreciates you going out with your girlfriends dressed like you want to be taken home by the first guy you see. No man wants to bring you around his friends or family when you look like you want to get freaky-naughty with his dad or best friend. And then there’s the I-am-just-naturally-beautiful-so-I-wear-sweatpants look: just no. Keep it classy and you will be treated with class.
Everyone knows the way to any man’s heart is through his stomach. A hungry man is a grumpy man. So, why do you insist on not feeding him a nice home-cooked meal? Maybe if you were to make him dinner, he would have the time and the mindset, knowing he will be eating shortly, to pick you up some flowers on the way home. But, let’s be honest, we don’t always have time to cook a meal. Sometimes we get off at the same time, or after our boyfriends. However, where there is a will, there is a way, and making food for your significant other should be a priority. You can always precook meals. You’re efforts to feed him will be appreciated immensely; I can assure you it will pay off.
Be Kind And Supportive
Don’t be a hater. If you had the opportunity to spend time with a negative person or a positive person, who would you choose? Be nice, and be grateful for what you have in your life. Doing so makes you a much more desirable person to be around. It will also cause your man to be kind and supportive back to you. Hey-yo! I know, we menstruate. Shitty for us. Or is it? When you feel like killing your boyfriend because his heart is simply beating in the same room as yours, and you envision drowning the kids (that you will NEVER have with him) because he breathes far too loud, it’s time to get out of the house. Alone. Go get a manicure or a massage, or a glass of wine with your girlfriend, who also knows what it’s like to hate life for no apparent reason once a month.
I am not suggesting that ladies should be doormats. I am just suggesting, that like everything in this life, it’s give and take. Judging by the general outlook of women these days on how they want to be treated and how they act, it seems to me that ladies are confused on why men used to be chivalrous. Give a little girls, and you will be rewarded.
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